imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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