Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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