coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
