your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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