I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
