i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
