I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
