Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
