hotel room ftw
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
