On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
