I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
