Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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