plz talk dirty to me
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
What drink are we having for lunch?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
