think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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