dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
