How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
