nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
