im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
