I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize