I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
