I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
