my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
