Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
