She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize