Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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