rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize