Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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