I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
