Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
