Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
