I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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