i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
