Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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