idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
