just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
