he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
