I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
