I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize