When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
