We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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