omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
