no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
