Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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