It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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