I wish life had little blips of pornography
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
