So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
