she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
