Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
