he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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