Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
