Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
