Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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