mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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