i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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