we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
