I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
50% drunk capacity currently
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
